Tuesday, July 15, 2008

How does one live.............

Mike's been home for 5 days now and that's a good thing. I have not gotten a call back from the hospice coordinator, so I will be following up with them today. My goal now is to keep Mike out of the hospital for good, even if it means treating (or not treating) him at home. My hope is that hospice will be the support I need. For 7 years I have been caring for Mike and making all the decisions on my own. Unlike caring for a parent, when your spouse develops the disease, you're in this alone. There are no sounding boards, people to check with. I am hoping hospice will provide that support for me. If something seems wrong, I could call them to evaluate Mike. I won't be making the decisions on my own. Having never done this before, I'm not sure if that is how it will be, but that is in part, what I am looking for. Tomorrow, I hope to visit the hospice facility with the kids and my mom. It was a suggestion that at first I resisted because of my stubbonness in keeping Mike at home with us. But after some thought, I agreed and decided it would be good to check it out as an "option" just in case things down't go as planned.

These days I'm just having a hard time with everyday activities. How does one LIVE knowing that their loved one is so sick?????

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You are such an awesome mom/wife/person and you need to keep going because you are alive and well and the pillar of strength for Courtney and Brandon. I am amazed at what you've accomplished and will always be in awe of you. I know you are an inspiration to a lot of people. I'm sorry you feel so alone; we are here if you need us.
Love, Kelly