Thursday, May 23, 2013
The weekend was filled with different ceremonies for each of her awards and while I knew Mike was with us in spirit celebrating the moment, I could not help but become emotional knowing he was not physically with us. Courtney had mentioned that he had not been with us at other milestones, but I felt it very differently. Even though he had been unable to speak and could not attend functions, at the end of the day I was still able to go home to him and share the details. It kept him "involved" and allowed me to share the accomplishments of our children with my husband. On this very important day, I missed him terribly. I kept replaying the day of Courtney's birth in my mind and how SO very proud he was to be a father and how much he looked forward to seeing them both grown up. Like other parents, we often wondered what our children would want to do when they "grew up", what profession they would choose and how they chose to live their lives. Mike had lost his parents at a reasonably young age (23 and 25) and he wanted to be THE BEST parent ever to his children. He wanted so desperately to be there for them. All this was running through my mind as I watched Courtney walk across the stage to graduate.
I could not have been more proud of her. Despite all the nights she spent at the hospital with Mike, all the time she helped care for him, all the time her mind was elsewhere as she watched Mike's health decline, she still excelled in college. She could have very easily gone down the "poor me" road and given up trying, but she didn't. I guess it was much like our attitude in caring for Mike at home. It could have been much easier had we made another decision, but that was a road we chose not to take. There were days when it was beyond anything we could have ever imagined, when we fought to hold it all together, but we continued to push forward and fight.
I am so proud of both my childen and can't wait to see what the future holds for them.