Tuesday, July 17, 2007


The kids have been working at a summer camp in the grade school that they graduated from. Courtney has kids going into 2nd grade and Brandon has 4th graders. Let's just say, the kids keep them very busy. There are about 20 kids in each group and 2 counselors. When it's hot and humid, it's difficult, but otherwise they do different activities and crafts throughout the day. Camp is only for the month of July and it ends at 1pm, so it gives them a chance to relax the rest of the day. Of course, the pay at the end of each week, however small it may be, doesn't hurt either.

Courtney went for her orientation for being a hospital volunteer already, but today she has her "interview" to determine in what area of the hospital she will work. She wants to request the floor that Mike was on for a month because the nurses and aides were all so wonderful. I hope she gets it.

I will be taking a week off in August to do things with Courtney and Brandon. Our vacation days are over at this point (with Mike's health so unpredictable) but I thought I could do "day trips" with them. We have a few things lined up and they should have a good time - hopefully.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Life in Limbo

I was talking to a friend the other day about the fact that Courtney will be turning 16 in September and will be able to get her learner's permit for driving. The realization that it will be ME that has to teach her to drive, hit a nerve. I mentioned to my friend that since I was a "single" parent, it was just one of the experiences I would get to share with my children. Then it hit me, I am NOT a single parent. My husband's "body" is here with us, but his "person" is not. It was then that I realized that for the last 6 years, the children and I have lived in limbo.

We cannot and will not mourn the loss of Mike, because Mike is very much with us. Yet, we do not get the chance to share all our special moments with him either. My children have gone through confirmations, graduations, birthdays etc. with their dad, but at the same time WITHOUT their dad. We can never be quite sure what emotion to show, because our lives are in constant limbo. We are happy in the moment, but sad when we realize that Mike is not with us.

Monday, July 2, 2007

Don't Give Up

It's truly amazing to me how God works. Just when I think I can't do this anymore, he gives me signs.

One of my favorite singers is Josh Groban. His songs always give me renewed strength. My past favorites of his are: You Raise Me Up and You're Still You. I found a new favorite just when I needed it..... You Are Loved (Don't Give Up). The kids got me tickets to see him on July 25th and I look forward to that night (although I still don't know how I will manage it with Mike). I share the words to that song with you today.
Don't give up, It's just the weight of the world. When your heart's heavy I will lift it for you
Don't give up, Because you want to be heard, If silence keeps you I, I will break it for you.

Everbody wants to be understood, Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved, Don't give up - Because you are loved

Don't give up, It's just the hurt that you hide, When you're lost inside, I, I'll be there to find you

Don't give up Because you want to burn bright, If darkness blinds you I, I will shine to guide you.

Everyrbody wants to be understood, Well I can hear you.

Everybody neeeds to be loved, Don't give up.

Because....you are loved.

Don't give up, It's just the weight of the world
Don't give up, Everybody needs to be loved.

You are loved.


As I was listening to this song on my way to work, a truck passed by. A regular delivery truck, but what was weird about it, was that on the back, for no apparant reason, it was written, "The Lord is my light, the Lord is my strength". Isn't that weird? On the back of a regular delivery truck to see that written. Yes, he works in mysterious ways, it's nice to know that I am not alone.