Changes

Yesterday afternoon the kids and I along with my mom and Walter went to visit the hospice facility. It was a beautiful place and did not at all feel depressing. We went to visit "just in case" a time came when we could no longer care for Mike at home. It IS a sub acute facility, so if he went there, it would be at the very end. The surroundings were sunny and airy, they had a common living room, a meditation room, kitchen, sun porch and patio. It was so nice, my mom actually joked that that's where SHE wants to go.

This morning we had a representative from hospice come to the home to discuss "in home hospice". This is exactly what I was looking for, now I just have to deal with dis-enrolling Mike from his Medicaid HMO and getting social services to evaluate him for home care only. If we can get over that hurdle, then everything should fall into place.

I started the ball rolling on another HUGE change. We will be letting Nathan go. He's been with us for 4 years and we will miss him tremendously!!!!! He is currently on vacation. His 2 week vacation turned into 3 - which he always does. Apparently he missed his flight last Friday and could not get another flight back to NY from Jamaica until this weekend. During the time he was away, Mike's weekend aide was caring for Mike. At this point in Mike's life, he needs someone like Mary (who has been with Mike for 3 years), more than someone like Nathan. Nathan was a Godsend for Mike in the past and I will NEVER say a bad thing about him, but the past year or so he has become more unreliable and Mike definitely needs consistancy right now. He needs someone who will take their time when helping him eat and drink. No matter how often I have asked Nathan in these past months to slow down, he would not/could not do it. As much as we love Nathan, Mike is our priority. I must do what's best for Mike. Hopefully Nathan will understand . It definitely saddens me, but this is what Mike needs right now.

On top of all that, I am trying to find the time to take Courtney to see colleges. In September, she will be starting her senior year, and I REALLY need to work on that stuff. When I have all this going on with Mike, it's hard for me to concentrate on anything else. The decisions right now with regard to Mike are all consuming and I feel time is of the essence.

Mike is holding his own. He is eating/drinking, but still not as much as he used to. His smiles are not as frequent and I often pray that we are not "forcing" him to eat for our sake. That is my biggest fear and I've expressed it with Courtney and Brandon on several ocassions. Doing what's best for Mike, may not be what WE want and that is something that we will have to accept.