Thursday, June 5, 2008

Answers

Today is a better day. It took me until 5:30 last night to get a call back from Mike's neurologist, but after speaking to him, I can better understand his reasoning. I only wish I had known earlier exactly what had happened and what his feelings were.

After all the times Mike has been hospitalized, I am programmed, through experience, to think that all doctors etc. look at Mike with those sad eyes and think, "there's nothing we can do" or "why bother". I immediately think that's what they're thinking - only because it has actually been said to me on numerous occasions. So of course, when something happens like it did on Monday, I immediately think the doctors are giving up. That was not the case here and I feel better. I will not go into the lengthy explanation as to why his neurologist did what he did, but now I understand and it all makes sense. I hope to have Mike removed from this extra anti-seizure medication (at least one dose) today. Mike DID wake up a little yesterday and we actually got a big smile from him. THAT was all I needed to prove to myself that I am doing the right thing. It's just exhausting in trying to figure out everything with Mike (because he cannot express himself) and then on top of that to meet with professionals who just don't get it. Hopefully, we're back on track and all I can do is keep praying.

As a side note, today is my niece Kristin's 23rd birthday. I can't believe how time flies. She was the first - granddaughter/niece - and she has brought such joy into our lives. I remember her birth just as clearly as my own children's. She is also my Goddaughter and she is very special to me. I can remember some wonderful times that Mike and I took care of her and most of them put a HUGE smile on my face. She has a special place in Uncle Mike's heart and I wish her the best today and always!!!!!! Kristin, don't EVER change, you are VERY special. We love you and HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

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