Wednesday, June 4, 2008

And so we fight

I feel "beaten". I go through this stage with each hospitalization. I feel like I am fighting a losing battle with the doctors, nurses etc. I'm not sure if it's the rainy day here, but today is not a good day for me.

Mike slept ALL day and night yesterday. Apparently, the other night, after the "seizure-like activity", he was given yet another anti-seizure medication. Now he just sleeps. What EXACTLY happened the other night to warrant an additional medication? Can't the antibiotic he be one for the UTI be interferring with his anti-seizure medication? Could tremors be a side effect of the antibiotic? Could Mike be having these tremors because his body is fighting an infection? Why does the hospital rush to judgment and immediately sedate him?

I will be calling his neurologist today to ask all these questions. I have expressed my concern with him in the past about over-medicating Mike. His primary care physician even asked me today about feeding tubes. WHAT???? I need to stay focused and remember that these issues were raised with Mike 4 years ago!!!!! Last year he was given Last Rites. Mike has overcome all these problems in the past and that was because WE BELIEVE IN HIM. Had we given up and given in, each time all the so called "professionals" did, where would Mike be today?

And so we fight. Mike is still very strong. He still laughs, sometimes so hard that his arms and legs go flying and kicking. He has THE best dimples. He would fight for me, I KNOW that and I will do the same for him. I guess the "professionals" find it easier to throw up their hands and give up. We will not. I will not give up on Mike until I know it's his time to go. I will wait for his UTI to be completely treated so I can evaluate the "real" Mike, not the sick Mike. And I will continue to fight for him, no matter how hard it gets.

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