Today, we moved Courtney into her dorm. Truth be told, the college she is attending is not that far away from our home. I wanted her to dorm there, because I wanted her to "step away" from the co-caregiver role that she has been in with me for so long, and just be a teenager. She's away from home, but close enough so that she can grow and flourish on her own. I wanted her to enjoy the FULL experience of college.
Last week, we were also notifed that Courtney was awarded a $1,000.00 scholarship from the Inheritance of Hope. This organization helps families where a parent is terminally ill. Courtney submitted a video about Mike and his illness and how it has impacted our lives. Financially, it has devastated us and this scholarship was able to help Courtney with her books. You can visit their site by going to: www.inheritanceofhope.org. Unbeknownst to me, this is a faith based organization and that made me even more pleased. For all that Courtney has done through school and church, it was appropriate that she won.
Of course, today was sad for me on a few different levels. It's not so much that Courtney "left" as much as it symbolizes that she is beginning the process of moving on. This is the first step in her independance and life on her own. That's a hard pill to swallow. What makes it even more difficult is that I do not have Mike to share these feelings with. Even though I talk to him, I do not get the support and comfort that other couples would from their spouses. It hurts that Mike is not well enough to truly experience this journey. I've been thinking SO MUCH lately of how protective he was of Courtney and how he would ALWAYS say that he wanted her to be a nun (LOL). He didn't think ANY man would be good enough for her and he wanted her to be protected always. She will ALWAYS be "Daddy's Little Girl".