Let me preface this post with the fact that I love my brother, I just don't love the way he acts sometimes.
Mt brother moved in with us last year because his pay cut left him unable to afford his rent. I gave up Mike's and my bedroom for him. He didn't start contributing financially until this summer and even that is not significant. I don't care about the money, but what I DO care about, he finds it difficult to contribute.
Today I got home from work late. I needed to get Courtney to a local library to get a French movie she needed to watch for her French test. When I got home about 6:30 I needed to wash Brandon's hair (which had not been done since last Monday. I had been dry washing it). We normally get dinner delivered to us on Tues., but for some reason no one brought it tonight. I had to scamper around and put something together. I started cooking, but also had to get Mike's bed set up. That being done, I got Brandon his dinner (at 7:00 p.m.) and started getting Mike into bed. Brandon woke my brother up to help me. Yeah, that's what I said. The entire time I was scrambling with all the stuff I had to do, my brother was sleeping on the couch - he was "exhausted". He normally takes Gizmo out for a walk each night for me, but not tonight. He went straight up to bed. After I finished getting Mike into bed, I ate dinner (8:15), then I walked Gizmo. After that I made Brandon's bed (the hospital bed) and prepared Mike's meds for tomorrow.
As long as I can remember, I have ALWAYS put myself in other's shoes to imagine what it's like for them. I believe that is what has helped me along the way for Mike. I imagined his fear, sadness, loneliness and anxiety. I do what I can for him because I imagine what I would feel like. I CANNOT imagine sitting on the couch and watching as my sister cared for her hsband and her children. I would never have the selfishness/thoughtlessness to ignore her situation - yet my brother does just that on a daily basis. Yes, he does help me a lot, but if the time is not right for him (as it was tonight) then he retreats to his room and sleeps.
I could NEVER, ever, ever, EVER be like that. Are all brothers like this?
Follow You, Follow Me: A Young Family's Journey With Young-Onset Alzheimer's Disease
1 comment:
HI Karen,
I'm glad brandon is feeling better. I have to brothers, my oldest brother would give me the shirt off his back and help me with whatever I needed. MY other brother is not allow to help anyone of his sisters or brother without his wife permission. She has to know what he is doing at all times.
YOur brother seems to be very self centered. Where would he be if you didn't take him in? He is not your responsability but you were very kind and open your house to him for a place to live. I feel he should be helping you a little more this week with your son liad up and Mike needing care.
I hope your brother will step up to the plate and help more around the house. God bless and take care of your self.
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