Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Nursing Homes??

My mom goes once a month to a geriatric psychologist. I can only imagine that once you hit your 70's, you may need someone to talk to, because you know your future is shorter than most people. I would be happy for my mom if she discussed her thoughts and her feelings, but everytime she goes, she discusses Mike, the kids and I. Yes, she is concerned for us, but when she comes back from her appointment, she relates what Dr. B said. "Karen, Dr. B, said you should do this, why don't you try this, Mike should really be in a hospital/in patient hospice, he's not getting the care he needs at home, it's too much for your daughter and her children................" HOW DARE HE???? He's never seen Mike nor us. Every specialist that knows Mike, that has treated Mike all these years has CLEARLY said to us that if Mike had been in a nursing home, he would not be here today. The level of personalized, loving care he gets at home - is unprecedented.

Why are some people, even medical professionals so quick to THROW people away to nursing homes??? Is that what YOU would want for yourself??? For some people, a nursing home is the only option and I can sympathize with that agonizing decision - but for others, it's not necessary. They just want the easy way out. Yes, it's the easy way out. I have the right to say this because I LIVE IT.

Caring for Mike is EXTREMELY time consuming, strenuous, emotional etc etc etc.... but when he goes to sleep at night, comfortable in his own bed and I can lay next to him, NOTHING can take that moment away from us. It's a shame that others don't want to make sacrifices for the sake of those they love. The look of contentment, peace and love on Mike's face when he closes his eyes to go to sleep, is all that I need to get me through another day.

1 comment:

childofprussia said...

I couldn't agree more!! My Dad was diagnosed with early onset dementia, and our family doctor has begun to roll his eyes whenever Mom asks him a question about Dad's situation. Specifically when she needed the doctor to prescribe a medication for Dad, the doctor rolled his eyes and told her that Dad simply belonged in a home. It didn't seem to matter to him what our family's opinion on the matter might be, and it baffles me how a professional in the medical field could possibly respond that way.

On another topic, if I may ask, have you found any other spousal caregivers out there who you can lean on for support? That's one big problem my Mom has had here; even the caregiver's support group she attends has only people who are caring for their parents, so she feels quite alone.