Monday, April 20, 2009

A Hard Pill to Swallow

Today is a rainy Monday and also the kid's first day back to school after almost 2 weeks off. There were ALOT of cranky people in our house this morning (actually, it really wasn't THAT bad). Huh - I wonder why.
My mind has been overloaded with thoughts on how Courtney would be able to attend Fordham. I will try to reach out to the financial aid office one last time to see if there's ANYTHING else they can do for us. The ironic thing is that we thought the hardest part would be Courtney getting accepted. Now that she is, it will be an even MORE difficult pill to swallow if she can't go there. She has worked so hard these last four years. In fact, this last Honor Roll, she was 12th in her class of 506. YES, 12th - now I know it was only for this trimester, but it was a HUGE accomplishment nonethless (she places 32 overall for the last 4 years. THAT'S also a big deal, considering how many other students are below her). I always wondered how much better she would have done had she not had to deal with Mike's illness and all that goes along with it. See, that's the thing, not everyone "gets it". To this day, so many people think of Alzheimer's as a "memory disease" and yes, while the loss of memory plays a HUGE role, there are so many more offshoots that families have to deal with. A few weeks ago, I got tickets to the Yankee game yesterday. It was only 2 tickets, so I had my brother take Brandon (the big Yankee fan). It so happens that Fordham had a Presidential Open House yesterday also, but because we would have all been out late and past the time that Mike's aid leaves, Courtney and I couldn't go. In any other household, it would NOT have been an issue. This is just the way it has been for us for 8 years (Take Easter weekend for example and how much it was messed up because Mike's aid never showed).
I guess it's because of all the past examples of loss, disappointment, fear, sadness etc, that I truly feel Courtney deserves this more than most other kids. It seems like my children have NEVER had it easy and rarely get what they deserve. I pray that I can make this happen for her. :(

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