Cleaning out Memories

As I previously mentioned, my brother is definitely moving in with us. The situation has it's pro's and con's, but bottom line is, I will not let him be out on the street.

In preparing for this, I need to clean out Mike's and my bedroom, which is where my brother will be "living". Part of me is glad this has happened because it's pushing me to do this. Since we haven't used this room in 4 years, it has become somewhat of a "catch all" room. It's a MESS.

I started to clean yesterday. We have a headboard that was also a storage unit and I came across some special items Mike had saved, along with a ton of pictures (I guess it was out of sight, out of mind). It was so sweet to see what he saved: his high school I.D., a Mother's Day card we gave his mom when she was in the nursing home, a test from when he was 7 1/2 years old, a 6 month anniversary card I gave him after we got married and English money he saved when he went to London back in 1985. He also saved a few awards and plaques from his years at Strober.

Last night I began looking through the pictures. Many made me laugh, but most of them made me cry. There were so many of Mike with Courtney and Brandon laughing and having fun. Part of me was at peace knowing that they will always have those memories, yet part of me was sad because of the life they will never have with Mike. There were a few of Mike with Brandon (father and son) that spoke volumes. I can't imagine what Brandon is feeling by not having his dad around. I try my best, but it's just not the same.

Cleaning out our room will most likely have this affect on me continuously. I guess I should consider it a form of therapy, which I understand is never easy.