Day 4 in Hospital

Mike still isn't "up to par". He took a little more food and drink today, but not alot. Midway through the day, I noticed that he kept moving his right leg. Normally, he's usually very content, but for some reason, today, he kept moving his leg. Later in the day, I was re-positioning him and I noticed that there appeared to be swelling near his ankle. I called the nurse to check it out and she was just as perplexed. She called the Residents in and they examined it. They feel that Mike is retaining fluid. I told them that he looked uncomfortable today and I was concerned because of his history of blood clots. They decided to order a dopplar test on his legs tomorrow. Now I get concerned because he HAS has pulmonary embolisms in the past. I begin to wonder if Mike's heavy breathing on Monday/Tuesday could be the result of blood clots in his lungs??? I guess this will be something I discuss with his doctor tomorrow. This morning we had discussed Mike possibly coming home tomorrow or Monday.

One thing I have learned through these past 7 1/2 years - I will NEVER get used to this. I HATE not knowing what's wrong, I HATE Mike not being able to talk, I HATE leaving him at the hospital, I HATE worrying, I HATE having to constantly think about the day that we lose Mike. I HATE getting prepared for the worst, only to have things turn around. I HATE feeling exhausted, I HATE seeing Mike in pain, I HATE seeing the kids get scared, I HATE ALZHEIMER'S DISEASE.

I don't ever want to seem like I am complaining when I write. I write this blog to try to explain what it's like to live with someone with Alzheimner's Disease. There are good days and bad, ups and downs. I will never regret caring for Mike. We all feel very humbled when all the doctors and nurses tell us that they cannot believe how good Mike looks, and especially how good his skin looks (skin breakdowns are very common in all patients who are not mobile and one needs to be very vigilant in doing their best to prevent them from starting). They tell us all the time that it is VERY CLEAR that we take good care of him. That makes all the exhaustion worth it and I know in my heart, that Mike would be doing the same for me.