Friday, May 9, 2008

You are Loved (Don't Give Up)

This is one of the songs I listen to on my way to work almost every morning. It is #2 on Josh Groban's AWAKE CD. It gives me the push I need many mornings to get through another day.
#7 on that CD is "In Her Eyes". I listen to that like Mike is speaking to me. It's beautiful and soothing and gives me the strength when I am weak. #15 on that CD is "Awake". It reminds me to appreciate the "moment" and not think about tomorrow.

I listened to the CD this morning because it hasn't been a great week. Between the infection on Mike's toe, his fever on Sunday and 2 REALLY bad coughing episodes, I am once again in the worry stage. In my heart, I believe the coughing comes from the fact that Nathan feeds Mike much too fast. I have told him to slow it down for months, but he doesn't seem to listen. This morning, I laid down the law. Mike cannot eat with the same vigor he did 1,2,3 years ago. His body is slowing down, so should we when we give him food. Nathan is so intent on getting Mike to eat, he doesn't realize that he's often finished with an entire dinner in 15-20 minutes. This is not good. The food doesn't get digested, Mike burps, starts coughing and then cannot stop. Last night made me nervous. There WILL be a day when Mike will no longer be able to swallow, and I'm not sure I will ever be ready for that.

No comments: