Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Pangs of Sadness

Most of the time I go through my day in robotic form. I wake up, see the kids off to school - prepare Mike's breakfast, medicine and drink - take a shower - get Mike ready for his aid to get him dressed - dry my hair - get Mike out of bed - leave for work - work - come home and make dinner - get Mike ready for bed - do dishes - do laundry (if necessary) - watch TV (my escape). Every day is the same. I do theses things sometimes without even thinking.
Every once in a while though, something happens, however small it may be, that startles me back into the reality in which I live. On Sunday at church, as I was walking back to my seat after communion, I teared up. The sadness I felt for Mike was overwhelming. Don't ask me why at that moment - but it just hit me how much Mike LOVED atending mass and how much I'm sure he misses it. I felt so bad that he is no longer able to get communion. When I sat back down I prayed that God comfort Mike and let him know that he is in fact with him - that Mike will NEVER be alone.
I always tend to get emotional at mass, after all, it WAS Mike that started to get me to go back to mass every week. While we were dating, this was something he made sure we did each week. Now I am going without him........................

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