It seems like since the beginning of June, I haven't gotten more than 4-5 hours a sleep a night. First it was Mike's "cold". His coughing and raspy gurgles kept me awake and scared. Next came his coughing "spasms". He would cough so hard and for so long, at times it seemed like he couldn't catch his breath. Now, the "twitching" came back. He seems to go through periods of having it bad, then not having it at all. The twitching has begun again. It usually starts around 5:30, then subsides once he gets his medicine. Last night he had episodes at 11:30, 1:00, and 2:30. Each time I lay and wait, I try to calm him down- as if my words and stroking are magic - as if he has control of these movements. They unnerve me and upset me. Does Mike know what's going on? Do they bother him? Is he scared?
Then after I think I have reached my limits, I am given "signs". Just today I read an article indicating that when a person with AD is admitted to a nursing home, the disease appears to progress more quickly. After I read something like this, I realize that all the sleepless nights are worth it. There is no place else I would want Mike to be than at home, with all those that love him, in the place he's most comfortable.