Elaine came today and Courtney and I went to the "Oscar Movie Marathon". For one price the movie theatre plays all the movies nominated for Oscars (This year there were double the nominations and they had to split it over two weekends). It lasts from early morning to late evening. We went last year and had such a good time. Today I got to stay for 2 movies (then I had to come home to cook dinner and be here to get Mike into bed), Courtney is staying for 3.
When I got home, I realized that no matter how much people say they love Mike and do what's best for him, no matter how much they want to help - at the end of the day - it's just Mike and I. That goes for my children, my family and the aides. They help as best as their schedule and time allows, but at the end of the day, they can walk away. I can never walk away. I'm not complaining, just stating a fact.
If and when I DO get the opportunity to "step away" for a little bit, I pay the price. It takes tremendous effort to prepare for that time away and I am always innundated when I get back. This situation is not unique just to me. This is true for ALL CAREGIVERS.
No matter how much we may need a break, we never get the opportunity to truly walk away.