Tuesday, January 29, 2008

I cry

Yesterday, Nathan had to leave early so he could go to a doctor's appt. I tried giving Mike lunch, and he almost choked on a piece of meat that I didn't puree enough. Getting past the fear of Mike choking, I got him into bed for his afternoon nap. Around 3pm, he had another grand mal seizure. This was the third one he's had, and it does NOT get easier. The only thing that made it bearable was the fact that my brother was with me. Someonw, not being alone, made a big difference, although I feel bad that my brother had to witness such a scarey event. I checked with Mike's neurologist and he didn't feel a need to adjust any medication, yet. We will wait and see.

So I now begin my fearful stage, when I walk on eggshells waiting for something to happen again, hoping that it doesn't. Time will eventually fade the look I saw on Mike's face, the sounds he made and the way his body moved. I cry when I think about it, about all that Mike has endured through the years. Now and always, I pray that Mike doesn't suffer.

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