Sores

Mike's sores seem to be getting worse. Having researched on line (which I know is a bad thing to do) I found out that sores are never really considered healed nor is their status downgraded. Basically if Mike had a Stage 3 bedsore and it seemed to look better, it would never be upgraded to a Stage 1 or 2. They can very easily turn back and that's exactly what they are doing. His shoulder which had been healed, is now so bad it's infected, as well as one on his thigh. The one on his bottom is so bad I can't even look at it anymore. As they were being cleaned yesterday, I had to give him morphine. I hate giving him morphine because to me personally, morphine = the end. I could not in good conscience, NOT give it to him, he was moaning terribly. Tylenol just wasn't going to cut it, so I gave him 1/2 of the dissolvable pill hospice had prescribed for him. This did not sit well with Courtney, but I just could not have Mike suffer.
I worry that this will be the first of many doses and that scares me.
I had to set my alarm again last night for every 2 hours so that I would make sure I was up to turn him so he would not spend any part of the night on his butt, yet you could never tell by the way his bottom looked today. I gave him another 1/2 of pill again today....at least there was no moaning.
These sores scare me. This is what Christopher Reeve passed away from and I'm sure he had excellent care 24/7.
I keep telling myself that I have done and will continue doing the best I can. I love Mike and I will make sure he does not suffer.