Monday, October 17, 2011

Family Weekend

This past weekend was "Family Weekend" at Quinnipiac. I arranged for our weekly aide to spend Saturday night with Mike so Courtney and I could attend. This weekend made me realize that this will be the last time I will be able to be away from home without one of the kids staying behind to help with Mike.

To begin with, instead of our aide arriving to work at 9am on Saturday, she got there at 9:50 - never apologizing.

For Sunday, I told my mom that she can come over about 8-8:30 in the morning (later than she normally does) because Elaine (our regular aide) would be there until our Sunday aide (Blanca) arrived. Well unbeknownst to me, Elaine told my mom she wanted her to be at the house by 7:30 and once my mom got there Elaine left. When Blanca arrived, Mike was saturated in urine and practically hanging off the bed. Blanca is so sweet, never says a bad word about anyone. She also has a difficult time speaking English. When I got home and my brother told me that Elaine washed Mike's clothes but left them for Blanca to fold, we explained to Blanca how Elaine told us she was "allergic" to folding wash. Elaine claims her doctor told her that the particles that fly through the air as you shake the wash before you fold make her sneeze - therefore she's allergic to folding wash. Blanca yelled out "That's bullsheet" (accent). When Elaine called up later to tell us she would have to take off today to take care of a matter with a deadline of today, Blanca yelled out "liar, liar" in the background.

Yes, I think Elaine is playing us for a fool, and I think she thinks she gets away with it, but she doesn't. I put up with all her "bullsheet" because the agencies cannot find an aide who is comfortable transferring Mike via hoyer. I call her out on quite a lot, but I have to pick my battles. Mike's well being is always priority!

Needless to say, after the way she took care of Mike this last time, I will not feel comfortable leaving him with her again.

On the plus side, we all had a good time visiting Brandon. Of course, Courtney was a little annoyed with me because once again I got emotional when all I saw was moms and dads. I couldn't help it. It's times like those that I'm shaken out of my "robotic routine" and see all we are missing as a family. There was just no way around it. I'm sure there were single parents there somewhere, I just didn't see them.


Kathy Knowles said...

I think Blanca got it right on the money regarding Elaine! It is so difficult to leave those who depend on us so much. Billy is certainly not at the point where Mike has been for so long, and I'm still very nervous leaving him this coming weekend. He'll be with his sister, and that gives me great peace.

My prayers are with you as you deal with the day to day trials of Mike's condition. I'm so glad you were able to visit Brandon for family weekend. It truly is a grieving process as you become caregiver instead of spouse, and you can't help but see all the couples everywhere. My sister-in-law has experienced that so much since my brother passed away three and a half years ago.

I pray for your strength, wisdom, and peace.

Sandy@Jesus and Dark Choc said...

So happy to have found your blog. Oh yes this is a VERY HARD journey. And hard for your kids I am sure!!!! Oh the grief of finding good care for your hubs, I am sure it is all such a stress for you. No one really understands all you are going through by yourself. May God continue to give you wisdom and strength! I too have a hubs with Young Onset.....we are just starting the journey. He was diagnosed a year ago.....but things have been going on for at least 5 years. We also have 2 teens, and I work full time...all so crazy.
Nice to find your blog! :)