Thursday, July 14, 2011
Every once in a while, I will see Mike like I haven't seen him before. Yes, I am with him every day and I'm not blinded as to his decline. Tonight though, he just looked and felt really thin. My thumb and middle finger can wrap around his ankle. When I rub his back, I feel his spine. His shoulders are all bones. His arms are like match sticks. I see him every day, but only sometimes do I really pay attention. I'm usually so busy turning him, rolling him, lifting him, positioning him, that I just go through the motions without noticing. But tonight I noticed and it's heartbreaking. When he used to hold my hand, his was so much larger than mine - I felt safe and connected. Now, his hands are so tiny, his fingers so small. His body is slowly disappearing, fading away from us just like his mind.