Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Not much is happening these days - Mike is pretty much status quo. There have been a few days/nights where his "gurgle" has come back and he had been unable to cough it out. That produced a few nights of little sleep, so therefore I am tired.....again.....always.
Courtney is finishing her break and will be heading back to school on Monday. I will realize once again how much she helps me and will miss her terribly. Because she is still so miserable with Hofstra, as the date looms near, her attitude and mood change drastically. How I wish I could do something to change that. Not to beat a dead horse, but having seen my children sacrifice so much and lose so much over the last 8 1/2 years, it breaks my heart, as a parent, that this disease has taken away Courtney's dream to attend a better school. Despite her difficult life at home, she kept up her grades and activities with the hope of attending the college of her dream. She flourished in spite of her circumstances, she excelled when others would have collapsed and now she cannot even go where she wants to go - WHY, because this disease has destroyed me so bad financially, that I do not even qualify as a co-signer. It hurts, and this feeling is re-visited every time she goes back to the school she hates. I apologize for bringing it up again.
Brandon is recovering well from his surgery. He's been going to physical therapy 2 times a week and is now down to one crutch (for support). He hopes to be "crutch-free" by next week. He's VERY anxious to resume his activities, but we are all telling him it will take time. The staff at P.T. love him and thankfully, he enjoys going.
The other day I went to get a hair cut and a wave of sadness washed over me when I saw a father there with his young son. Memories of Brandon's first haircut and how patient and calming Mike was while he held him. Watching this man and his son, I felt cheated. My heart was heavy thinking of all that Brandon and Mike have missed together. I have no doubt they would have been the "best buds" and I ache knowing that I will never see that interaction.


karen said...

I hope all works out for all. I am so broke that my son is having to take things into his own hands. Have you tried federal Aid. It pays for most of my sons classes.He got schorships to go to many schools far away but NO he had to go to the UofA. And no money from them . So he went to work on finding funds. If you are as poor as we are since I stopped working and became a full time caregiver I bet your student can get Fedaral aid. Good luck.

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