Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Lack of Sleep

Two weeks ago, Mike had his 3rd grand mal seizure in 3 years. While I am grateful that it has only been 3, they have left an indelible mark in my memory and they are something I fear the most. As predicted, I have been constantly walking on eggshells.

For 2 weeks now, Mike has not been sleeping well. His jerking and shaking have been so severe at times, I sometimes hear his shoulder cracking. It seems to me like someone is giving him electric shocks every minute or two. Because of his almost constant shaking, I can't sleep. I lay next to him and wait....wait for something to happen, never knowing if it will. My stomach drops and I will often literally shake at the fear I have of having to possibly witness another "S" (I don't allow that word to be spoken in my home). What makes matters worse is that the less sleep I get, the weaker I become. The last few nights, I have dreaded going into bed, for fear of what may lie ahead. While it may sound irrational, it is quite real to me, because one of THE WORST things I've ever seen happen to Mike is the "S".

I pray that Mike's jerking stops soon and I can get some sleep. Sleeping revives me and makes me stronger and capable of handling all I need to.

No comments: