It's been a little over two months since Mike passed and it still feels surreal. Yesterday I found a bottle of one of his medicines that I missed, and the waterworks started almost immediately. The date on the bottle was two weeks before Mike passed. I find myself looking at life "before Mike passed" and "after Mike passed". I held the bottle in my hand and thought that the last time I held it, Mike was with us.
Things were so different.
Our dog Gizmo has also taken Mike's death hard. We've found that when we leave, he becomes "depressed" and misses us much more than he had in the past (For the first day we were in Washington, he slept almost all day). In my mind, I try to imagine what he's thinking.....Mike left the house and never came back. He assumes that when we leave, we won't be coming back. He was Mike's constant companion. We got Gizmo to keep Mike company when he got sick, Mike held him on his first car ride home and Gizmo was Mike's constant companion - sitting on his lap frequently. He had seen Mike leave by ambulance many times, but Mike always returned. In February, Mike didn't return and we think he's afraid that we'll do the same.
The end of the school year is approaching. Brandon's last day of classes was today and next week he has finals. Courtney and I will be driving up to CT on Friday to pack him up and bring him home. Courtney's last day of classes is next Friday and she has finals the following week. During the week of her finals, my nephew Steve (our meteorologist) will be visiting us in NY for a few days and we couldn't be happier. Since he graduated and began working full time, he wasn't able to come up to NY for the holidays. Now we'll be able to spend some special time with him and we can't wait!
We've finished painting the living room and our next project will be getting rid of "stuff" at a garage sale in the beginning of June. There seems to be one project after another and that's OK - it keeps me busy.
A friend our ours is running in the Long Island Marathon on Sunday and asked if he could run "In Memory" of Mike. Of course we were honored and are just finishing up the T-Shirt for him to wear. We are so blessed to have the friends that we do.
One thing is for sure, we all miss Mike terribly. He was such a huge presence and he inspired us each and every day.
All we can do is take things one day at a time.
2 comments:
So sorry for your loss and I have so much respect for keeping your husband at home and taking care of him! I know from first hand experience it is not easy and how it can effect your whole life. Not only when they are sick but after they are gone. I am not sure how I came across your blog but I am glad that I did!
Thank you!
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