I received some emotional messages on my last post. A simple comment about having to divorce a spouse in order to keep your assets opened a can of worms.
Bottom line, none of us would CHOOSE to divorce our spouse unless we were left with no other options. Had I known back in 2001 what I would be going through today, I would have seriously considered divorcing Mike, BUT ONLY ON PAPER, in order to save me from the heartache I'm going through now. People divorce for many reasons, but divorcing to protect my husband to make sure he gets the services he deserves, and ensure that my children and I wouldn't be left destitute, may not have been a bad option. When our Elder Law attorney mentioned it, I cringed, I couldn't even think about it. What a sad state of affairs it is that we have to proclaim to the government that we no longer choose to be married to our ill spouses, in order to make sure we are all taken care of.
I DID choose to file a "spousal refusal" at the time and that even weighed heavy on my mind.
Today I have the Alzheimer's Association working diligently with an attorney (who's handling our case pro bono) in trying to fix our problem. This is a very prominent Elder Law attorney who we worked with when we appeared on his local television show. He was so angry that the government is basically punishing us for taking care of Mike at home. We will also be having a meeting with the Senator we met in Albany for the purpose of making him aware of what's happening and what families like ours have to endure when there is a catastrophic illness in a family.
I sincerely pray that this situation will bring about some positive changes.