12 Down....

Well, this is the third and final week of Nathan's vacation. I can honestly say, it wasn't so bad. The agency FINALLY pulled through and sent a VERY capable, friendly and hardworking aide. I will actually be sorry to see her go.

Today Mike is not having a good day though. The guessing game begins....His blood pressure seemed good (to rule out dehydration), his breathing seemed "normal", no fever, good color...BUT his head is drooping and he's not eating or drinking as much as he should. He has had a problem with his toe for the last 2 1/2 weeks. The podiatrist is scheduled to come back tomorrow. It had been infected and he was given an antibiotic. It seemed to be doing OK. Then Saturday night, it got REALLY red and swollen again. The podiatrist came back on Tues. and said she didn't believe it was infected again, but that it did NOT look good. Could this be causing Mike discomfort? Could there be a deeper infection? Things would be so much easier if he could talk and explain what is bothering him. But then, life is not easy. So the guessing game continues and we try to rule things out. I am praying that he will wake up from his nap with more energy to make up for his lack of eating and drinking so far today. But until then, I worry that it will not get better, and he will be back in the hospital.

Happy Anniversary

19 years ago today, Mike and I were married. Our wedding song was "Follow You, Follow Me", by Genesis. This was one of the only things in all the wedding planning that Mike really requested. I was showing Mike's aide our wedding album today and how sad is it that all my friends in the wedding party are no longer in contact with me. This wasn't the typical, we grew apart and went seperate ways. It was more of an example of Alzheimer's Disease Alienation. I wonder how different things would be if I had that much more support from friends.

Of course, the sadness is also there from imagining what might have been. All our hopes and dreams are no longer. I always wonder what Mike would think of Courtney and Brandon and the young adults they have become. Knowing how proud he was of them when they were younger, I can't even imagine what he would think of them today. I wonder how Mike would have aged and whether he would have kept his sense of humor. I wonder what we would have done to celebrate our day. Instead, I sit quietly at home with Mike and the kids. I am thankful we are all here and happy and healthy.

Happy Anniversary Mike. Love Karen.

8 Down.....7 to Go

Not much going on, although today Mike seems to be a little off. I ALWAYS get concerned about these days, because I never know whether it's just the day, or something else. He didn't eat or drink as much as the last few days, but he DID eat and drink. He smiled a few times, but not laugh hardily like he has in the past. I guess I need to listen to my children. They always say that everyone is entitled to a bad day. I know better though and pray that that's all it is. With his health as fragile as it is, I get concerned that he can't afford to have a bad day. He needs all the nutrition and hydration he can get.

6 Down, 9 to go..........

Everything is still "status quo" and we're liking it. Last night Mike slept without hardly any jerky movements, so I actually got some rest. I can only hope that tonight is the same.

How weird is it that I was contacted yesterday by a Japanese production company. It appears they may be interested in including us in a documentary they produce twice a year showing people with rare medical problems and how they deal with them. Even if nothing comes of this, how weird is it that a Japanese company is aware of us and our situation??? Maybe what we are doing actually IS raising awareness. I feel like our efforts are being noticed.

Week #2

Well, this is week 2 without Nathan. God has sent an angel named Sandra to care for Mike, I just hope she can come back for week #3. All is status quo there and for that I am thankful.

Last night, Mike had MANY more jerky movements, in fact it was practically non-stop from 8-12:00 a.m. I actually gave him additional medication at that time, which made me more concerned because I am so afraid to give him anything while he is sleepy for fear that he will choke. I just could not get to sleep and needed to do something. It's at those times that I feel most vulnerable. It's then that I realize just how alone I am. If I was caring for a parent, I would most likely have a spouse to help keep me strong, but because my spouse is the sick one, I am all by myself. I get scared and have no one to lean on, no one to hold me. Sometimes I just want to "step away" from the situation and I realize that I can't because there would be no one else to "step in". There is no one to share responsibilities with, nor anyone to comfort me. Last night was rough and I can only hope that this cycle will end soon. I guess most people would perceive me as the strong type, but the reality is, that inside I am as scared and frightened as anyone else. Nightime is the time of day I dread the most.

1 Week Down, 2 to Go......

Well, thankfully we made it through the 1st week. The aide that started on Tuesday is wonderful. She's great with Mike and seems to know exactly how to handle him. When the agency told me she would work this week, I asked if she would work the next 2. They said that they would let me know. When I got home on Fri. I asked her if the agency called her, she said no. Meanwhile, they hadn't called me either. So, I am up in the air as to whether Sandra will be coming back next week. Nothing new with this agency.

The repairman came today and thankfully, the dryer WAS repairable. It was much cheaper than a new machine.

Mike is doing well and we can only pray it stays this way.

4 Down, 11 to go.....

Obviously it's a countdown to the number of days before Nathan returns.

Today went better than yesterday. We still have no dryer and my car is still not inspected, but Mike did better. He ate all his meals and drank all his drinks. When I got home from work though, he was coughing alot. It made me nervous. I checked his BP and lungs. All seemed OK, but he kept coughing. Of course, I was concerned. Then Brandon and I got Mike into bed and as we were moving him around, he let out a few good burps. I believe that was the problem. I remembered that Nathan always said that many times Mike would cough when he was trying to burp.

Tomorrow we will be meeting the Newsday reporter to talk more about our life. No matter how much or how little we are in the article, we will be glad that attention is being brought to the realities of Alzheimer's Disease and the obstacles caregivers face.